It’s no secret that men and women communicate differently. Women generally speak in a language filled with mythical characters who look like ordinary men, but can read their minds and interpret their unspoken thoughts. Men are generally forthright in their communication and this simple straight talk seems to fly over the heads of the female species, who seem vehemently intent on rearranging the context of his simple verbiage into sentences that ultimately confuse him. I’m not suggesting that men are cavemen and women are manipulative. We mostly understand each other when it comes to straight-up exchanges of data, but where emotions are attached to subjects you aren’t sure where the other stands… All hell can break loose. In an effort to bring clarity to this complex system of dialogue, I will attempt to unscramble several phrases from both the male and female lexicon. Wish me luck!
Men: We're good.
Women: It's not fine! This discussion is just over!
2. “I’m tired.”
Men: I really don’t want to hear your mouth tonight. Let’s just have sex.
Women: I don’t want your penis anywhere near me tonight. I’ll be going to bed soon. Feel free to spank your monkey after I’m asleep. Just leave me out of it.
3. “Do whatever you want.”
Men: She’s cool with it. I can do whatever I want.
Women: You should know enough about me by now to know if I’m okay with it. Which I’m not, by the way. If you do this, we are through.
4. “I need space.”
Men: I’m annoyed. I need to gather my thoughts.
Women: Get the hell away from me! We’re probably about to break up.
5. “I’m almost ready."
Men: I need about 5 more minutes.
Women: I’ll be ready when I’m ready. It could be 15 minutes or 1 hour. Go find something else to do.
6. “That couple is hot.”
Men and Women: I think you’re starting to let yourself go, so I’m lighting a little fire under your ass.
7. “We need to talk."
Men and Women: I need to talk. You need to listen.
8. “We’ll talk about this later."
Men: Let’s address this after I process all the data you just dumped on me.
Women: I need more time to gather ammunition to bury you with.
9. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Men and Women. We are never having sex.
10. “What’s wrong?”
Women: Did you seriously ask me, “What’s wrong?” Stop playing stupid, everything is wrong!
Men: Let it go, already.
Women: ”You won this round, but I refuse to concede.
12. “Are you seeing anyone?”
Men: Do I have any serious competition to contend with?
Women: I’m interested, but I don’t want to waste any energy on you if you’ve got someone in your life. If you don’t, ask me out already.
13. “I forgive you.”
Men and Women: I forgive you, but I’m going to use it against you for the rest of your life.
14. “Does this make me look fat?”
Men: If you are smart...Crickets. Just slowly walk away.
Women: If you answer “Yes,” you’re an a$$hole. Just tell me I look great.
15. “Let’s take it slow.
Men: I’m bread-crumbing at least one other girl that I haven’t had sex with, yet.
Women: I have another option and I haven’t decided yet which one of you I like more.
16. “I’m really busy right now.”
Men and Women: I don’t want to date you. Please stop calling me.
17. “Let’s get a dog!”
Men: I want something around that’s going to love me no matter what.”
Woman: I want to have babies, but I don’t want to scare you off. However, based on your answer, I will know your level of commitment.
18. “Don’t worry about it.”
Men: It’s not a big deal.
Women: I’ve asked you five times to fix the sink and you still haven’t done it? I can’t count on you for anything.
I think it's impossible to list every possible instance where miscommunication between the sexes can occur, but hopefully I have given clear cut examples that they do, exist! Take your time and practice effective communication when it really matters. If you don't know what effective communication looks like, be sure to check out my video to learn more.