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  • Dr. Andre Blaylock

Women are cheating more than ever, even in happy relationships

Since 1990, the number of women who cheat on their husbands has increased by 40 percent, while the number of men has remained relatively the same. (This study focuses primarily on married couples). These women are HAPPY. In the US, cheating is a catastrophic occurrence , so, why do they do it?

Let's first look examine the reality of cheating between the genders.

Studies show that men are opportunistic cheaters. They’ll cheat more often, and with someone less attractive or desirable than their current companion.

Women tend to cheat more selectively. When women are unfaithful, they’ll rarely fool around with fellas who are “socially subordinate” to their current partners. Essentially, women are more likely to cheat up, while men are more likely to cheat around. But WHY?

The issue seems to be that marriage and long-term monogamy aren’t meeting their contradictory ideals.

They want their partner to offer stability, safety, predictability, and dependability while simultaneously wanting that very same person to supply awe, mystery, adventure, and risk. They expect comfort and edge, familiarity and novelty, continuity and surprise. They imagine a place where love will remain unconditional, intimate, and sexually ecstatic, with one person, for the long haul.

When these unrealistic expectations fail, cheating seems like a reasonable excuse to achieve everything they were promised in the fairy tales. Interestingly, even when their partnership meets every expectation, cheating becomes a form of self-discovery — of searching for a new identity. A way to express themselves in a new way with a new partner.

Sometimes, the resulting mistrust is too much for the relationship to overcome. Sometimes, however, the relationship emerges stronger as a result. It's the 21st Century. Things have certainly changed.



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