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  • Dr. Andre Blaylock

Diversifying Your Social Portfolio May Save Your Relationship!

Are you Expecting too much from your Partner?

Many people desire a partner who’s simultaneously responsible for making us feel loved, sexy, and competent, but also ambitious, hungry, and inspirational. How do you make somebody feel safe, loved, and beautiful without making them feel complacent? How do you make somebody feel energetic, hungry, and eager to work hard without making them feel like you disapprove of the person they currently are?

It depends.

You can do it, but you should be aware of what you’re asking your partner to do. In some sense, the pursuit of those goals are incompatible. In others, you will both need a way of connecting that can make those desires possible.

For example, your support conversation may sound something like this: “I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved, and I’m proud that you’re never fully satisfied with it. I'm impressed with how you relentlessly work toward improving yourself.”

That can convey a sense of approval, while recognizing your partner's aspirations.

Think about what you’re looking for from this one relationship and decide if these expectations are realistic in light of who you are, who your partner is, and what the mutual dynamics are.

If not, then you might want to outsource. them to another member of your social network.

There’s no shame at all in thinking of ways that you can ask less.

The benefits of having a diversified social portfolio...