It’s difficult to imagine Batman without Robin, Sherlock without Holmes, and The Avengers without The Hulk… Yet the loss of your significant other may have left you feeling like a superhero with no sidekick. After all, a break up is something that was reserved for “other people” until it knocked on your front door. At some point in time, we all have experienced the emotional pain, disappointment and sense of loss caused by a break up. And if you haven’t, keep on living; you’ll get your chance! It’s inevitable. As long as you choose to romantically engage another human being you will eventually be told (or end up telling} someone to kick rocks. At first, you may feel you can’t survive without the familiar support and comfort of your ex lover, but you can! Reaching the fork in the road doesn’t have to leave you stranded on the “highway of love “. Following these two suggestions will work wonders in helping you get back on your feet in no time.
Step one: CRY. In a situation like this, it’s okay to be a big baby. Tears cleanse the soul. The tendency to internalize your frustration only lengthens the recovery process. It happened. He or she is gone and it HURTS! Take as much time as you need to embrace this reality. Moving forward too quickly could cause you to carry excessive baggage into your next relationship. It’s never a good idea to make someone pay for another person’s mistakes. It may seem callow, but it works. So, forgive yourself. Have “one last cry” and leave it there.
Step Two: Rediscover your identity. It’s easy to lose yourself in a relationship. Often times we were so preoccupied with the other person that we lost sight on our own uniqueness. If we will be honest, most of us could admit to initially adding or subtracting significant portions of our personality to appease the object of our affection. Now that we are single, we may find ourselves in a stupor. We often can’t think past the other person as to what it took to make us happy. When we were in a relationship we were happily engaged in the task of “molding” our partner into the shape we wanted them to be in. It never really dawned on us that, in the process, we were being molded, by them, as well. Reconnect with your individuality; get back to being you.