The Timeshare Man: Part 2
Contrary to popular belief, life is not lonely at the top.
For certain men...
Tall, handsome, successful men have no shortage of women to choose from. Many men assume that women are not into sex as much as they are.
The TRUTH is that most women are simply not attracted to MOST men. They're attracted to timeshare men.
This isn't exactly great news for women in general because it means that most other women are attracted to timeshare men, as well.
Even gorgeous women with no shortage of male adoration want to know how to attract this particular male specimen. Yes, gorgeous women have plenty of unattractive men to choose from, but these unattractive men inspire so little desire that she chooses to be completely alone. The truth is, there's a lot more competition at the top than most average men would care to know.
Here are a few suggestion that will help you attract this highly coveted male commodity...
Become a Hottie
By far, the most important thing you can do to attract high caliber men is to make yourself as physically attractive as possible.
Here are the top four elements to being hot:
Body: Scientific research suggests that women with large breasts, a shapely derriere, and a low waist-to-hip ratio are judged as highly attractive, feminine looking, and are preferred more for short and long-term relationships, (providing that such women are slender). If you're fat, you need to lose weight. If you're slender without any curves, you should learn how to lift weights.
Face: I recommend being brutally honest with yourself. Makeup can smooth your flaws and enhance your strengths. Good makeup does not mean heavy makeup. Don't let your preconceived notions about "women who wear a lot of makeup" fool you into not putting your best foot forward. You can find a routine that's low-maintenance and effective. And you should.
Hair: Hot women look great with short hair all the time. But it's not because of their short hair; it's because they already have everything else in place. Men overwhelmingly prefer long, thick, lustrous hair.
Get glorious hair. Find a high quality salon that understands what "glorious" hair means, and abandon the "pixie" look until you're married. I know it's way more comfortable and convenient, but save it for later.
Breasts: Cosmetic surgery is popular because large, full breasts are popular. I'm not recommending that you get cosmetic surgery, but you can certainly afford to flatter yourself in this department. The Wonder Bra is a readily available, non-surgical solution that will assist you in your gravity defying quest.
Now you may be thinking,"I can be hot when I want to. I just don't want to. The hotter I am the more unwanted attention I get from perverts."
True, but it's also important to remember that most red-blooded, heterosexual men, high caliber or pervert, are attracted to these things. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson likes those things just as much as Oscar "I live in a trash can" does.
To make this all work, you have to start hanging out with more Dwaynes' and fewer Oscars.
Go Where the Timeshare Men Are
For the vast majority of women, you'll meet men through your social circle. That's fine, but it does narrow your options. Quick question: How long have you known your current group of friends? Did you grow up with them? Were they your high school or college classmates? Coworkers? I'm sure they're great people, but if you want to attract a higher level guy, you're going to have to expand your social circle so that you encounter high-value men.
Here's how to do it.
Write down where you met your previous boyfriends. For most women, this will be through your immediate social circle, or online. Be honest about this. Was he a friend of a friend? Did you meet him in a class? Did you meet him by default because you never really ventured too far outside your comfort zone? Look for the patterns.
Jot down a list of where high-value men tend to hang out. The interesting men are not in a bar at 11 p.m. on Tuesday. They're the ones attending business conferences and working the room at charity events. They're taking cooking and dancing classes. Think about your ideal man, and then ask yourself where can he be found.
Make a goal of attending one event outside your comfort zone per week. Use sites like Meetup.com to find local events. You may not find the highest value men at every event you attend, but your efforts will be worth it when you expand your social circle.
Here are a few suggestions for getting started.
Professional networking events and conferences
Any charity event.
Dance and cooking classes.
Upscale hotel bars.
Whole Foods and higher-end grocery stores.
Play Verbal Tennis
I used to be perplexed by the idea that beautiful, exceptional women would say that they were "finally worn down" by persistent men. I don't prefer to chase women, so the idea seemed counter-intuitive. I wondered how all of these beta-male, thirsty guys landed exceptional women by being "bug-a-boo?
It's a complicated answer, but simply put:
Women are not very proactive when it comes to dating. When it comes to long-term relationships, they let the men come to them and then choose the best option. The most persistent guy usually wins.
This strategy works because there are a lot of men out there desperate enough to be persistent and put in lots of upfront work hoping for a long-term reward; your companionship.
But if you want to land the timeshare guy, you're going to have to retool your interaction with men.
To keep the interest of a man who's not so eager to chase you down, play a little "verbal tennis".
When a guy asks you a question, ask him the same question in return.
He served a tennis ball, you hit it back.
Instead of answering with a basic "yes" or "no", elaborate, thereby introducing a new conversational thread. You don't always have to keep asking the man questions; sometimes, you just have to hit his tennis ball in another direction.
The result will not only be more interesting conversations, but you'll maintain the interest of the guys who don't feel like chasing you so hard - and those guys are the catches.
Learn How to Reject Men Quickly
"But Andre, I do play verbal tennis with the guys I like! I only give one-word answers when I'm not interested in the guy."
That's a bad idea. Why?
Because you're giving out false hope. Guys are not great at taking hints. and most women aren't upfront. They will breadcrumb a guy. After all, it doesn't hurt to have a backup in case you can't win the guy you really want, right?
Wrong. Not only does this strategy hurt you, it hurts the guy you're stringing along.
First, you're not doing yourself any favors by flirting with unexceptional men. He may be nice, but if the context is strictly dating then you need to be upfront. Plain and simple. Give yourself more time to focus on becoming an attractive woman who's worthy of more exceptional men.
Second, it's a favor to him. Men have to be told point-blank that you're not interested...and even so, many men won't get it. But once you've been upfront, you can ignore him, conscience clear.
I recommend rehearsing a"rejection" line. Something like:
"Listen, I have to say no. You seem like a good person, but I'm really looking for something else." Then run for the hills!
Don't be too nice. Tactfully dash their hopes, and keep it moving.
Don't fake interest in things you don't like just to keep his attention. Personally, that's a turnoff. I want to have some areas where your interests and mine don't overlap.
Here are some of the more interesting things I've talked about to women that made me want to know more about them, and made me feel much more comfortable about the prospect of a relationship:
Charity projects. Women who are highly involved in charitable projects tend to meet more high-value men while simultaneously showcasing a passion for the world that's far greater than what many men are used to seeing from average women.
Self-improvement. Whenever I go to a self-help conference, it feels like it's about 70-30 in favor of men. Why shouldn't women want to find ways to improve themselves, too? The women I meet at these conferences tend to be well-spoken, intelligent, and poised - and those are three very attractive qualities.
Timeshare men tend to be more used to proactive women. It's basically an evolutionary fact that higher-value men attract far more women than average men. The reason women can't approach most men and seduce him on the spot is that average men aren't used to being approached and will suspect something's up.
On the other hand, as high-value men, we have women approaching us on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes, women will be very forthcoming about their attraction and will express the desire to have sex very quickly, and I can tell you from experience that the more you encounter this, the more accustomed you become. For timeshare men, women being proactive is the norm.
Women know that they're competing for timeshare men because their attraction for "average guys" fade far faster than a guy's attraction for an"average girl". It's a jungle out there, so you're going to have to get a little proactive.
Approach men. There are no promises that you're going to have great response,though. Men are so conditioned to not being approached by women that when a beautiful woman does approach, they assume these women are prostitutes, or running some kind of scam. Higher-value men will be used to it, but your mileage will vary among them.
Learn a "one-liner". Something simple like: "Hi, I really thought you looked interesting and wanted to introduce myself. I'm _____." Usually that's enough to express your interest.
Discover a new hobby that will naturally land you around higher-value men. Are you going to attend one of the previously recommended events and discover a new hobby, or are you content to let the same old, same old continue happening to you?
Raise Your Value-Meter
Your internal "value-meter" will determine a whole host of things, from the actions you take to improve yourself to the decisions you make regarding men.
Your inner thoughts will change your destiny. Not only do you have to upgrade your habits and appearance, you have to change your inner identity.
Timeshare guys don't judge you solely on your looks. What else do you bring to the table? Is there a sense about you that piques his natural curiosity? That special spark is going to be what differentiates you from all the other women competing for his attention.
Stop living life in "default." You wait for men within your social circle to ask you out. You eventually date only the most persistent men. You don't take up activities aimed at expanding your horizons, and it shows in your relationships. Being attractive is usually enough...unless you want to really have an exceptional relationship.
Physical beauty is important. Don't do it for the pervs - do it because it gets the interest of the attractive men you're trying to win over. If you're looking for a high-value guy, you're going to have to compete with other high-value women. Put your best food forward.
Go where the value is. A lot of women - just like a lot of men - live on autopilot. Commit to taking on one more activity per week that will get you out of your comfort zone and align you with a lot of high-value men.
Be proactive. When you're attracting high-value men, you're competing against more women than you realize. Female-to-male attraction is highly polarized, which means that there's a lot more competition at the top. It's okay to be a little more proactive about meeting men, and throw out the traditional "rule book."